WHY STEP INTO THE CENTER OF THE FORUM?

BY STEPPING IN, WE CHALLENGE THE SOCIAL STRUCTURES, WE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND ASK FOR HELP FROM THE COLLECTIVE

The Forum is a practice in which a group of people gathers to inquire about what it means to be human.

What questions are part of our existence?
How each person faces their challenges?
How can we connect through the essence of our feelings and support one another along the way?

These researches are done through personal stories that people in the circle choose to share, one at a time, stepping into the center and protagonizing the collective inquiry.

Recently, a participant asked why do we have to take the center to share a story instead of doing it from the circle, sitting on the chair. Reflecting about the question, I realized that taking the center of the Forum is one of the most important steps that we allow and take in this practice. I share some of the reasons below.

QUESTIONING THE CURRENT STRUCTURES OF TRUST

The person who asked about the reason of taking the center also said she felt more comfortable and less exposed staying in the circle.

I believe that a big part of this is a consequence of our modern social organization.

First, our culture is very much based on comparison and competition, which makes people frequently use judgement to differentiate themselves from other people and shame becomes a trigger to try to diminish others and, if possible, make them feel ashamed.

These cultural bases create a reality in which it is indeed very risky to show ourselves wholly and vulnerable, because it's very likely that people will find some reason to affirm that there's something wrong with us — with the way we speak, with what we feel and need, with how we dress, with the shape of our body, with the ideias we have.

To this we can add another social phenomenon in which everyone wants to speak, but very little time is dedicated to really listen to what's being said by people around us.

The Forum is a Circle of Trust and I understand that one of its main goals is to question these current structures.

This questioning starts with the fact that the circle dedicates its attention entirely to listen to one person share what moves them. With no interruptions, no answers, no corrections, nor justifications, we exercize our active and deep listening to what's being brought.

And through the invitations to self-responsibility, to welcoming people's truth, to curiosity and to searching for places of connection with the shared stories, what we create in the Forum is an environment in which we can be fully who we are, without people telling if we're right or wrong, if we're approved or not, nor creating rankings to say who's better or worse.

People in the circle are there to witness what is.
And, to me, this is extremely revolutionary.

In such environment, the protagonist can talk about the wholeness of their truth without being interrupted, rejected or repressed, received full attention from a group of humans like them.
The people in the circle are stimulated to break their habits of speaking without listening; of searching for conclusions, justifications or specific results; and of using judgements as self-defense mechanisms.

I ADMIT I DON'T SEE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF

To talk about this, I find important to reference the Johari's Window.

The window brings 4 quadrants that illustrate the way humans relate with each other.

There's a part of me that I know and that people see — my public part.
There's another part of me with things I know, but that other people don't see or know — my hidden part.
A third part is that with things about me that I don't know, but that other people perceive — my blind spots.
And there's a fourth part that's not known by my nor by the others — the occult things about me.

By stepping into the center and protagonizing a research, sharing my personal situations, I make public parts of me that up until then were hidden to all or many of the people present in the circle. Referencing the Johari's Window, this decreases the amount of things "hidden" and increases the amount of "public" things about me.

But taking the center is also a way os admitting that I don't see nor know everything about myself. That's the point of being there, doing a collective inquiry.

I like the image that when I'm in the center, I show the front part of me to a part of the circle, but my back, which I don't see, is shown to the other part of the circle.

And it's alright that it's like that.

Differently from the culture in which we live, in the circle we can me relaxed, showing ourselves wholly, front and back, without worrying about the fact that we don't know everything about ourselves nor with the possibility of someone laughing (literally) behind our back.

I ASK FOR HELP AND I CAN COUNT ON OTHERS TO FIND OUT WHAT I CAN'T SEE

One of the major gifts the Forum offers are the mirrors.
Mirrors are the opportunity of people in the circle sharing with the protagonist (and with the whole circle) how that story that was shared reaching and touched them.

This is only possible because, by taking the center, besides admitting that I don't know everything about myself, as a protagonist I invite facilitators and the whole circle to research with me and I ask for help to find new things about my challenges and my worldview.

Referencing the Johari's Window, the mirrors help lower my "blind spots" and increase what I know about myself.

I'M THE CENTER OF MY STORIES

The way I perceive reality depends on me.

Even though this perception is strongly influenced by contextual things, which I can't control, there's always some room to decide how I read the situations I live through.

Therefore, even though my stores are not only mine and are shared with a large part of humanity, I'm the center of my stories.

My conflicts, fears, anguish, longings, as well as the things I believe to be right, depend on my world view.

When I take the center, I take responsibility for how I read the world and I take a step towards breaking the automatic responses and protagonizing my own story.

BELONGING AND LEARNING

I can say that the main things I take from stepping into the center are belonging and learnings.

Belonging because I feel connected, heard, welcome and accompanied. I find that I'm not alone on my life journey, that there are people who face similar things, and that in some level, what I live connects to the experiences of those like me.

Learnings because I catch myself saying new things about my stories; because I listen to myself repeat somethings and they sound different; because I'm provoked to inquire more about myself; and because I listen to how people relate to what I go through and the enriches my view on life.

May the center stay open to all those who wish to step in.